After a long day, I headed to my local watering hole for a glass of wine. As I sipped subpar Pinot Grigio, I felt a blaring light behind me. The man sitting next to me at the bar screamed, “Yes! Bourdain!”
I turned around to watch a younger, less-gray-haired Anthony Bourdain tossing fresh pasta in a tomato-ladled saucepan.
“Why don’t we have a female Bourdain?” I said.
“Because women aren’t funny!” he said, the female bartender and I refusing to laugh.
“It’s a fucking JOKE, you guys are proving my point,” he continued.
The bartender and I locked eyes, rolled them synchronously, and shrugged it off.
This man whom I had never seen before knew nothing about me, but his comments fueled a fire that already lives within me as a woman in the travel industry.
Despite all of my accomplishments as a radical righteous solo traveler, I am sometimes taken aback by the amount of sexism in the industry. I have traveled to over 60 countries on 6 continents, written for several publications, and have even been on a podcast or two. When I first started branding myself, I wasn’t too keen on taking bikini shots on beaches, but I was keen on using my GoPro while I did things like ride the world’s largest swing in New Zealand or swim alongside a turtle in The Great Barrier Reef. I often wondered, if I wasn’t willing to exploit my body, was there a chance of me ever getting my foot in the door?
I was once invited to speak for a site featuring solo female travelers. Despite having sent them all of the places I’ve gone to alongside my craziest adventures, they asked me a plethora of disappointing questions, such as what I do to avoid being sexually assaulted abroad. The way this was framed was confusing; just because I am a woman who travels means I have the golden rule on how to not get raped? I don’t carry a magical shield. I have in fact been raped in my own apartment in New York, but never abroad (knock on wood). Traveling alone is one of the few ways I feel I’ve gotten my bodily autonomy back from some of the shit that’s been done to it. I wonder how many times male travelers are asked what they do to avoid raping women. Men, seriously, what do you do to avoid those urges? Do you not walk alone at night, as to not find vulnerable women, waiting like prey to be pounced? How do you control yourselves?
The same company asked me what countries are most unsafe, which, though I understand the notion, ends up furthering negative stereotypes. I have watched interviews with men, and yet, the questions are never framed around their safety, but instead, “What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken?” The response is always something like crossing a West African border, or sleeping alongside snakes in the Amazon, which is often met with a, “That’s awesome, man!”
I once pitched a story to a male-dominated company about hiking Kilimanjaro, which I have personally done. I included the tidbit that I keep in touch with my guide, and could verify accuracy through him. The response was, “Well, are you an expert? I mean, you only climbed it once, right?” and the story was promptly denied. That same man continued to call me an amateur travel blogger instead of a professional writer, despite having been professionally published several times.
I believe women in every industry are at a disadvantage, but in the travel industry, I have watched male travelers jump off of cliffs and be called amazing and adventurous, while women simply show up to a place and are questioned on their sanity and safety. I have watched men travel to places like Syria and Socotra to be called “brave,” while women travel to India or Egypt and are called “crazy.”
Bourdain set a high bar: we should get out there and see the world, eat anything that’s placed in front of us, drink questionable liquor with the locals, and face our dreams and fears head-on. For this, I love him. However, Bourdain was simply given a show after the success of his book Kitchen Confidential. He had seldom traveled prior to that, but he was curated and crafted into this character we all grew to love. I ask myself, would those same opportunities ever be given to a woman? Women are out there now, traveling and seeing the world, and I don’t see any of them making the impact Bourdain has. This is not because they are incapable, but because, perhaps, those doors will never be opened for them. The travel world doesn’t need a “female” Bourdain, it simply needs a female.